Yesterday the marriage took place in Coed Cylgwri
Of the God-Eagle to the Goddess-Owl.
The wedding feast went off as these things generally do.
They might have sent me a guest list beforehand.
The Eagle looked rather put out by the best man's speech.
He was a man by the way, the only one there.
"Representing humankind on this auspicious occasion"
He declared grandiosely.
Freddie Featherstonehaugh, no I've never heard of him either.
He went on a long time about how clever the Owl is.
I saw Eagle's talons clench once, though he hid it behind the tablecloth.
I ought to describe that. Lichens laced together with cobwebs.
Rather last season I'd have thought, I suppose they liked it.
The centrepiece of crushed Coke cans added some colour.
The food, well how shall I put it? Gruesome.
Though vegetarian dishes were thoughtfully supplied for the Hare,
An old friend of the bride apparently.
The Honourable Lady Hildegard,
Who, everyone knows, is a Bewick's not a Whooper,
(would that she were Mute)
Might have shared those, but disdained to.
No outfits to describe of course, though I'm really short of copy.
The best man was the only person dressed at all,
And his feathered cloak was generally considered tactless.
Thankfully nobody regurgitated a pellet.
The ritual oblations were made to The Tree.
Then dancing began with much shaking of tail feathers.
Music was provided by a band that did its best, at great length.
I thought the corncrake a poor choice of lead singer.
"It'll never last" the Rat whispered to his wife as the happy couple left,
Not so sotto voce as he thought.
Then something was said to ruffle the cockerel's feathers
And the obligatory fight broke out.