This is just a quick note to tell you that it has happened,
That nightmare scenario we have rehearsed together.
I was driving home last night,
Ministering angels had kept the children at home with John.
Peripheral vision on the passenger side flickered
Movement amongst the roadkill rabbits.
I stopped further along.
We had always said the first thing was the reflective warning triangle.
I set it up, first do no harm.
The rabbit, now still, was too big, a hare.
What had we said? I stroked its head.
The jump of pain stopped that.
Gentle examination next we had thought.
Got a torch from the glove compartment and shone
It all over. A little blood, but it hardly seemed harmed.
Hesitant fingers over all of it next,
Soft yielding fur covers surprisingly firm bones.
When my hands cupped its belly it became a she.
We both, all three, know the feel of that kicking.
Now what? My hands travelled farther back.
One hind leg is broken, I feel it before hearing
Her vixen cry.
She cannot leap, so like the hurt hawk
For her there is no hope only pain.
I might be able to save the leverets
By performing a post mortem Caesarian section.
But I can't think what to kill her with.
Rummaging in the boot found more than thinking did.
The car jack, also an old duvet jacket to insulate
Any survivors of the operation.
I don't have to put the next part into words.
Violence brought relief for us both.
That old Swiss Army knife we found on the hills,
Long ago now, made a blunt but eventually successful scalpel.
Fur wafting up got in my nose and mouth,
An excuse to wipe my eyes.
My Petzl headtorch was good as both hands were needed.
Her uterus felt pleasantly smooth and warm
But the leverets mucus-slimy and angular.
I cleared the minute mouths and nostrils
Then swaddled the refugees in goose down on the front seat.
While doing that I'd been wondering where Lagomorph nipples are.
Joltingly like ours it became clear.
I massaged them into the cup of the Thermos flask,
We never use it anyway.
Nothing came, so lactation must start after birth.
I felt foolish laying her body under leaves
And whispering "Dandelion, frumitory, sorrel".
You would have found something better to say.
All three were alive when I got home and called
"Help" quietly to John.
I didn't want the neighbours' help.
We put them by a radiator and sat up all night.
This morning, two had gone gently
But one was sucking hard on his eye-dropper.